Today on “Dystopia Now,” we take a look at something called the Enhanced Games, where nearly 40 athletes compete while doped up on performance-enhancing substances. You can catch them at Resorts World Las Vegas in late May.
A Legion of Doom-worthy coalition of tech billionaires is funding the Enhanced Games, including Peter Thiel, the Winklevoss twins, Saudi prince Khaled bin Alwaleed Al Saud, and Donald Trump Jr. According to their materials, it’s “a diversified revenue model designed to capitalize on the growing global demand for sports entertainment, performance enhancement and longevity products.”
As Richard Dawson said in “The Running Man,” “Without further ado, it’s time to start running!”
A major driver behind the Enhanced Games is German tech billionaire Christian Angermayer, the author of the Next Human Agenda. He is pushing the games as “a significant economic driver for the biotech pharma industry in the years ahead.”
If the Enhanced Games sounds suspiciously like an advertisement for Compound V, the superhuman-making substance in “The Boys,” it should. This isn’t a sports gambit — it’s an advertisement for the “longevity” industry, based on big tech’s obsession with expanding the human lifespan and human vitality.
The problem is, Compound V can create metahumans like Homelander, who is a total psychopath but is essentially evil Superman, but it can also create people with the power to shoot octopi out of their butts, or some such thing. We know that these substances aren’t steroids or cocaine, but we don’t know much else about them, or about their long-term effects. The Enhanced Games is promising sprint records, but A-Train, the super-sprinter on “The Boys,” has extreme heart issues and a dependency on Compound V.
Some athletes — who are either being paid very well, desperate for glory, or both — don’t seem to care. Greek swimmer Kristian Gkolomeev broke a 50-meter freestyle world record in an Enhanced Games trial last year, making a million dollars in the process. As Forbes reported this week, “Irish swimmer Max McCusker, also an Olympian, said publicly that his decision to join was a “no-brainer” after earning less than $10,000 across four years of professional swimming.”
Screenshot: Enhanced Games/YouTube.com
So what’s the endgame? Clearly, life expansion is a mantra of the day, slotting in alongside at-home helper robots, personalized flight, Mars colonization, and the AI singularity. We seem to be heading toward a bifurcated, Gattaca-like future, with “optimized” people at the top of the pyramid and a vast mass of suboptimal people at the bottom, Elois performing feats of strength at Resorts World for an audience of barely human Morlocks.
All this reminds me of the opening credits of the “Six Million Dollar Man,” “Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability of making the world’s first bionic man. Better than he was before. Better. Stronger. Faster.” (Of course, today, six million is rounding error).
This future is actually kind of appealing, even interesting. We should at least try to see if the current billionaire obsession with hyperbaric cold plunges and blood transfusions and liquid megavitamins and genetic manipulation works. My own program of fish-oil pills, probiotics, not eating like crap, and standing on my head a few times a week seems to be working just fine, but I haven’t really started into the peak of my decline yet.
The real test of Enhanced Games technology won’t be how it affects super-swimmers or Olympic sprinters, who are already close to Peak Personhood. When they start injecting nootropics into people like me, to see if they can make the Substack posts a little snarkier and the decision-making at the $400 No-Limit Hold Em poker tournaments a little smarter, then we’ll see how well it works. Just remember that, sure, there are a lot of super-people in “The Boys.” But most of them end up with exploding heads.
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Neal Pollack, “the greatest living American writer,” is the author of 12 semi-bestselling books of fiction and nonfiction and is a three-time “Jeopardy!” champion.
