You are being lied to about the Trump administration’s action against Iran.
You’re being lied to over and over and over again because liars, including Democrats, the horseshoe Right, and terrorists, are working together to make the United States lose.
I’m going to walk you through the three big lies making the rounds right now — and debunk them one by one.
Lie #1: The war is a quagmire, an interminable, never-ending conflict, doomed to catastrophe; we’ll probably have to use nukes.
This is nuts. Can we be real about something for a second? We are 12 days into this war. 12 days. Not 12 years, like Vietnam. Not 12 months, like the Spanish-American War, which ended with the United States winning Puerto Rico, Guam, and the Philippines from Spain.
12 days, which is about how long cottage cheese takes to spoil in your fridge.
Lie #2: Iran is doing great. They’re outlasting us. They’ve never been stronger. They’ll be able to stand up to us forever.
You see this in the AI slop all over X; people making up videos of things that do not exist and pumping them out, showing Iran with nuclear-age weaponry that the aliens used in Independence Day.
No. The war is going incredibly poorly for Iran. Iran is on its last legs, although. I should say last leg, because Mojtaba Khamenei, the new supreme leader of Iran, reportedly is down to one leg. Apparently, the Israelis blew off the other one in the same strike that took out his father. Allegedly, Mojtaba isn’t even conscious, which is why, at a ceremony for him where the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps showed up to pledge allegiance to him, they were forced to use a cardboard cutout of him on a poster board they had printed at an Iranian Kinko’s.
By the way, this is also how I run our office. I put up a cardboard cutout, and then my staffers talk to it, and we call it a successful meeting.
According to the New York Post:
Assassinated Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei was so opposed to his son taking power that he noted it in his will, experts told The Post. “In Khamenei’s will, he explicitly asked Mojtaba not to be named as successor,” said Khosro Isfahani, a research director for the opposition group National Union for Democracy with ties to Iranian intelligence.
Still, the critics argue catastrophe is upon us. And that brings us to…
Lie #3: The oil shock is going to end this war, or Iran’s just going to cut off the Strait of Hormuz forever. You’re going to be standing in line like the Jimmy Carter era, waiting to pump gas.
Nope. You remember when on Monday morning, people were freaking out about the Strait of Hormuz and the supposed Iranian threat to global oil supply, and there was talk about the price of crude per barrel going up to $150-200?
It was the fastest turnaround in modern market history because the price of oil soared by roughly $40 a barrel. But by the close of business yesterday, crude had dropped again below $90 a barrel.
So clearly we’re in terrible trouble. The economy’s about to collapse.
Not.
If you listen to the idiots, you would think these people really thought that President Trump was going to launch a major action in the Middle East without any idea how it might upset the oil markets.
If there’s one thing (among others) President Trump understands profoundly, it is the impact on markets. This is why he launches strikes on Friday nights — not to annoy me because it’s the Sabbath and I can’t cover it — but actually because the markets don’t open until — wait for it — Monday.
He did it with Maduro. He did it here.
If Iran does anything that stops the flow of Oil within the Strait of Hormuz, they will be hit by the United States of America TWENTY TIMES HARDER than they have been hit thus far,” he wrote. “Additionally, we will take out easily destroyable targets that will make it virtually impossible for Iran to ever be built back, as a Nation, again — Death, Fire, and Fury will reign upon them — But I hope, and pray, that it does not happen! This is a gift from the United States of America to China, and all of those Nations that heavily use the Hormuz Strait. Hopefully, it is a gesture that will be greatly appreciated.
I love it when he starts just doing heavy metal lyrics.
You notice the veiled threat? It’s pretty wonderful. It’s basically Trump saying, “Hey, China, I know you’re working with Iran, but we are going to keep the oil flowing to you for now if you’re nice.”
President Trump is feeling it.
He said yesterday,
Together with our Israeli partners, we’re crushing the enemy in an overwhelming display of technical skill and military force. Iran’s drone and missile capability is being utterly demolished. Their Navy is gone. It’s all lying at the bottom of the ocean. 46 ships. Can you believe it? In fact, I got a little upset with our people. I said, ‘What quality of ship?’ ‘Excellent, sir. Top of the line.’ I said, ‘Why don’t we just capture the ship? We could have used it. Why did we sink them?’ They said ‘It’s more fun to sink them.’ They like sinking ‘em better.
He’s the best. He’s just the best.
If you cannot laugh along with the president about the United States sinking Iranian Navy ships, you need to have a better time in life.
The president also spelled out a timeline. It will be short, and it will be over soon. President Trump talks about this war to reporters the same way I talk to my kids about a trip to the doctors: It will be over “soon.”
Maybe that’s because Trump’s opponents here are acting like children.
Over the years, we’ve talked about “good” Trump and “bad” Trump.
This is not “bad” Trump. And it’s not “good” Trump.
This is unsurpassed awesomeness.
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