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This article is part of\u00a0<\/i>Upstream,<\/i><\/a>\u00a0The Daily Wire\u2019s new home for culture and lifestyle. Real human insight and human stories \u2014 from our featured writers to you.<\/i><\/p>\n ***<\/i><\/p>\n Do we still need etiquette in a digital age, when a simple thumbs-up emoji or \u201cok\u201d can count as a response to a spouse\u2019s text message or a coworker\u2019s Slack message? The answer, one etiquette expert says, is yes.<\/span><\/p>\n That expert is Alison Cheperdak, author of the new book <\/span>Was It Something I Said?: Everyday Etiquette to Avoid Awkward Moments in Relationships, Work, and Life<\/span><\/i><\/a>, set to be released on March 17. Cheperdak\u2019s career has taken her many exciting places \u2014 she has experience as a White House staffer, a television news reporter, and an attorney \u2014 which have led her to found <\/span>Elevate Etiquette<\/span><\/a>.<\/p>\n \u201cI want the book to be something that you could read cover to cover or you could flip to the page that had the answer to exactly what you were wondering in that moment,\u201d Cheperdak tells The Daily Wire in an interview. \u201cIt\u2019s inspired by a book that helped me so much, years ago, which was <\/span>The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette<\/span><\/i>, which was initially written in the 1950s. There are some things in there like making sure you have the right brand of cigarettes for your guests or ample ashtrays in your living room, which have not held the test of time, but much of it remains.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Just as society\u2019s expectations around smoking have changed, so too will expectations around technologies such as <\/span>social media<\/span><\/a> and video calling. But, as Cheperdak points out, the principles behind how we treat others are constant \u2014 after all, it\u2019s \u201creal people\u201d on the other end of our screens. <\/span>Was It Something I Said?<\/span><\/i> contains advice about making small talk, interviewing for jobs, and helping friends going through loss and illness. Cheperdak deftly weaves in stories from her own life, including her own etiquette faux pas. Much of her advice does involve so-called digital life \u2014 being considerate of others in how you post, message, and livestream. Examples?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cBecause we live in such a digital age, no matter what your career is or your life situation around the world, we\u2019re so connected by technology,\u201d she says, emphasizing the importance of \u201cbeing kind in-person and online and understanding that the way that we communicate online often comes off differently than we think it does.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWhen you\u2019re talking with someone on the phone or in-person or over a Zoom call, you have the benefit of inflection, tone of voice, body language, cadence, eye contact, all of these other cues that supplement how we perceive someone\u2019s communication. But when you\u2019re communicating digitally and you only have the written word, it lacks that warmth, and it\u2019s more likely that miscommunications can happen,\u201d she continues.<\/span><\/p>\n That\u2019s true whether you\u2019re a Zoomer or a Boomer. All generations have their strengths and weaknesses when it comes to using technology to communicate with others. Especially with younger generations who are just entering college or the workforce, sometimes it\u2019s a case of not knowing what you\u2019ve never been told. Cheperdak advises people who are early in their careers to err on the side of formality in their communications and in how they address others. Cheperdak says a university professor recently told her that, after a career fair, students surprised professionals who had handed out their business cards by texting them instead of emailing.<\/span><\/p>\n In such situations, \u201cI recommend emailing someone because a text, it can be perceived as an interruption or almost like an intrusion into someone\u2019s day if you haven\u2019t really developed that rapport yet, but for younger people that are Gen Z, that have grown up in this oversaturated information age, they don\u2019t use email as much as they use text messages, as much as they might use direct messages on social media,\u201d Cheperdak says. \u201cMost times, people aren\u2019t aware that it\u2019s a habit that needs to be paid attention to. And once you make it known, then I see people definitely improve.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Even though the world of social media can feel overwhelming, Cheperdak is a proponent of using platforms such as Instagram and Facebook when you have purpose behind how you use them.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s really helped me connect with people from around the world in ways that I never could have imagined. That has been incredible about it. I\u2019m very discerning about what I follow and what I share, and if it\u2019s not educational, inspirational, or relationship-building, then I\u2019m out,\u201d she says. \u201cI\u2019m not a believer that you need to eliminate everything about your past [on social media]. I think there\u2019s a beautiful element of your social media that\u2029it can be a scrapbook that shows what you were doing 10 years ago or five years ago. But I do think it\u2019s important to remember that you\u2019re an ambassador for yourself always, and you don\u2019t want to be doing things or sharing things that you\u2019d be embarrassed for your grandmother to see on the cover of the Washington Post.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Cheperdak says many of her followers write in with questions about friendship, which she says is a topic that at first seems unrelated to social media \u2014 but it actually is.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cA lot of women just feel like they\u2019re experiencing distance from a friend \u2014 a friend is ghosting them, or they\u2019re not seeing this friend as frequently as they used to, and they wonder what they\u2019ve done,\u201d she says. \u201cI think that the reason this comes up is because the friend is saying that they\u2019re so busy, and then they\u2019re seeing their Instagram story, that they\u2019re at brunch with other friends, to a brunch that they weren\u2019t invited to.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Scholars, including Jonathan Haidt, have written about how social media causes many young people to feel \u201cranked\u201d in their friendships because they have so much more data than before about what their friends are doing and who they\u2019re spending time with. This phenomenon can extend to adults, too.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWhat I try to invite people to realize is that it\u2019s normal and it\u2019s healthy to have different groups of friends and not to have the same people always hanging out all the time. You don\u2019t know the backstory,\u201d Cheperdak says. \u201cAll kinds of things can happen outside of being mad at someone or wanting to eliminate them from their life and a friendship.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Having a good grasp on etiquette can be helpful in exciting situations, like a black-tie gala or a meeting with a member of Congress, but it\u2019s just as helpful in everyday challenges. That\u2019s Cheperdak\u2019s message \u2014 and through the tips in her book, she wants her readers to become confident in speaking up for themselves and others. That\u2019s a skill everybody could use.<\/span><\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Evie Solheim is a freelance journalist, book reviewer, and author of the newsletter The Girl\u2019s Guide<\/a>. Find her on X @eviesolheim<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n The views expressed in this piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n