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This article is part of\u00a0Upstream,<\/a>\u00a0The Daily Wire\u2019s new home for culture and lifestyle. Real human insight and human stories \u2014 from our featured writers to you.<\/em><\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n NASA\u2019s Artemis II crew inspired<\/a> all of humanity from the dark side of the moon. But on the one-year anniversary<\/a> of the <\/span>Blue Origin x Jeff Bezos<\/span><\/a> all-female celebrity mission to, well, the sky, we\u2019re brushing off trivialities like aerospace and the universe to honor the stunning achievement of <\/span>Oprah\u2019s best friend<\/span><\/a>, Gayle King, and her elitist costars. I mean, space tourists.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t like that people are calling it a \u2018ride,\u2019\u201d one time faux-stronaut <\/span>Gayle King<\/span><\/a> confessed, after spending <\/span>eight minutes<\/span><\/a> total riding in a rocket traveling <\/span>62 miles<\/span><\/a> high. \u201cHave y\u2019all been to space?\u201d Touch\u00e9, Gayle.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I recently ate at a restaurant that served \u201cchicken and dumplings\u201d in quotes because the meatless \u201cchicken\u201d was actually made of mushrooms. Here, I give you \u201cspace travel\u201d and dumplings, starring a bunch of \u201cimportant\u201d celebrity \u201castronauts.\u201d If you thought the original moon landing was fake, the capsule door opening<\/a> after this Blue Origin landing was the fakest. Jeff Bezos even pretended to use a crank to pry it open after someone had already peeked out from the inside. <\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThese women are storytellers,\u201d <\/span>S\u00e1nchez shared<\/span><\/a> before the launch. \u201cThey\u2019re gonna come back and be able to share that story.\u201d After Venmo-ing something between <\/span>zero and $28 million<\/span><\/a> for a seat, they\u2019d probably tell any story you want. But this time, they would make <\/span>her<\/span><\/i>story, causing Oprah to <\/span>try to shed a tear<\/span><\/a> at takeoff. Gayle was spot on when she explained that it wasn\u2019t \u201c<\/span>just any space mission<\/span><\/a>\u201d like those other NASA trips.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n For the record, I\u2019m not dunking on the extraordinary scientists rocketing Blue Origin into the future. Instead, I hope to memorialize the dedicated crew featured on the company\u2019s <\/span>31st spaceflight<\/span><\/a>: \u201cCBS Mornings\u201d anchor Gayle King, Justin Trudeau\u2019s girlfriend and singer Katy Perry, and Mrs. Lauren S\u00e1nchez Bezos<\/span>. Rounding out the space-adjacent Spice Girls, former NASA rocket scientist turned \u201c<\/span>citizen astronaut<\/span><\/a>\u201d Aisha Bowe, self-proclaimed \u201c<\/span>civil rights astronaut<\/span><\/a>\u201d Amanda Nguy\u1ec5n, and filmmaking \u201cspace socialite\u201d <\/span>Kerianne Flynn<\/span><\/a> served as forgettable lesser-celebrities hogging Gayle\u2019s oxygen.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Over the past 11 years, Blue Origin has completed <\/span>almost 40 flights<\/span><\/a>, launching almost 100 people to zero gravity via the <\/span>phallic, suborbital New Shepard<\/span><\/a> rocket. But this crew was the most famous to date. But you guys, it was legit. They spent <\/span>two whole days training<\/span><\/a> for this mission, probably!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Just like Artemis II, there was plenty of hype surrounding the Blue Origin crew, pre-launch, mostly drummed up by the celebs themselves and likely a few PR teams phoning it in. All new, very serious space suits were <\/span>designed by Lauren S\u00e1nchez<\/span><\/a> and the creative team behind fashion house Oscar de la Renta. Forget the <\/span>baggy, oversized fits<\/span><\/a> of other (male, ugh!) missions; these empowered women were determined to be snatched from any angle.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI think the suits are elegant,\u201d <\/span>S\u00e1nchez said<\/span><\/a> of the intentional \u201cStar Trek\u201d-on-top, Elvis-on-the-bottom, body con, flatteringly ombr\u00e9 look, which is really how it was described. \u201cThey also bring a little spice to space.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Elsewhere, while NASA typically spends about <\/span>nine months<\/span><\/a> nailing down a precise food supply for its missions, Gayle spent the four days leading up to her launch packing the essentials.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve been given this very special pouch. They call this your \u2018space pouch,\u2019\u201d <\/span>she shared<\/span><\/a>, unironically. She also reminded us that packing for space was harder than packing for, say, a weekend in the Hamptons. She brought her grandson\u2019s favorite doll, a jangly necklace, a charm bracelet, a cross meant for nervous flyers, a family photo, and an iPod loaded with CeCe Winans, JAY-Z, Sia, and Katy Perry. \u201cSomebody asked me, \u2018Can you wear necklaces in space?\u2019\u201d Gayle said. \u201cI sure hope so!\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n The Blue Origin crew arrived at the launchpad, hanging out the windows of a Rivian as if it were a gilded Roman chariot. Then, they buckled up for the ride of their lives. \u201cYeah, baby, \u2018Go for launch\u2019 \u2014 my favorite words,\u201d <\/span>someone<\/span><\/a> 100% professional said.<\/span><\/p>\n Once the celebrity crew entered their <\/span>four minutes of weightlessness<\/span><\/a>, the ladies squealed like little girls at a sleepover. They also made sure to pose for the camera to cheer, \u201c<\/span>taking up space<\/span><\/a>,\u201d like a bunch of <\/span>Medusas<\/span><\/a> with hair extensions instead of snakes.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThe best part was when we got back in our seats, after zero G\u2019s, Katy sang \u2018What a Wonderful World,\u201d <\/span>Gayle recalled<\/span><\/a>, still blushing with self-importance. \u201cIsn\u2019t that nice?\u201d Not pictured: <\/span>Louis Armstrong<\/span><\/a> rolling over in his grave. And <\/span>Neil Armstrong<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Artemis II\u2019s crew shared pics of the moon, but Blue Origin NS-31<\/a> shared pics of the real stars: themselves. Gayle <\/span>kissed the ground<\/span><\/a> once she landed, just minutes after she left. And before turning her space capsule party favor <\/span>into a purse<\/span><\/a>, Amanda Nguy\u1ec5n posted an arms-in-the-air shot captioned \u201c<\/span>this is what justice looks like<\/span><\/a>\u201d when a snap of \u201cthis is what Earth looks like\u201d from space would have been great.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Katy Perry dramatically exited the capsule, holding a tiny daisy for her daughter (Daisy) and dropping to the ground in gratitude. \u201cThis experience is second to being a mom,\u201d <\/span>she said<\/span><\/a>, while her <\/span>soon-to-be-ex-husband<\/span><\/a> Orlando Bloom looked on.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n On an Instagram account she designed specifically for this, Kerianne Flynn, or @spacekerianne, shared that she would be honored at the U.N., accompanied by an image of her <\/span>wearing the Blue Origin spacesuit<\/span><\/a>. \u201cI have almost no words,\u201d Flynn said after the flight<\/a>, her voice shaking, her filler fighting her expressions. \u201cIt was the most incredible experience of my life.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s all so deeply inspiring, it almost makes you forget what it felt like to listen to the Artemis II crew name a spot on the moon after Commander Reid Wiseman\u2019s late wife, Carroll, before hugging and returning to their mission.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n The puffed up B.O. crew caught flak once they returned to Earth. <\/span>Wendy\u2019s<\/span><\/a> targeted Katy Perry, asking, \u201cCan we send her back?\u201d And non-invitee supermodel <\/span>Emily Ratajkowski<\/span><\/a> posted, \u201cThink about how many resources went into putting these women into space. For what? I\u2019m disgusted. Literally, I\u2019m disgusted.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n Gayle responded by somehow linking her brief space career to <\/span>GPS and satellite research<\/span><\/a>, as well as claiming she was an inspiration to <\/span>even men<\/span><\/i> who were now considering space travel as a thing. She had been to the <\/span>K\u00e1rm\u00e1n Line<\/span><\/a> that separates us Earthlings from Martians, and she was changed.<\/span><\/p>\n A year after their extraordinary journey (may it rest in peace after this momentous occasion), it seems the celebrity crew has left interplanetary life behind in favor of other stuff, like throwing <\/span>the worst first pitch<\/span><\/a> at a Mets game, seemingly <\/span>getting a ton of work done<\/span><\/a>, and eating <\/span>trail mix at Coachella<\/span><\/a>. At least, according to Instagram.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m so glad to be back on Earth,\u201d <\/span>Gayle<\/span><\/a> said, having little proof she was previously living in reality. \u201cI feel so proud that I did it.\u201d Describing a view that most of us can only dream of, <\/span>she added<\/span><\/a>, \u201cYou see the planet, and the dark sky, and the neon blue line, and you feel, wow, we came from there. Wow.\u201d Wow, indeed.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n
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