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“Our First Lady, Melania, is here,” Jimmy Kimmel said in a sketch for a hypothetical All-American White House Correspondents’ Dinner, where he imagined himself as host. “So beautiful … Mrs. Trump, you have a glow like an expectant widow.” Two days later, at the official dinner, the first lady would be forced to take cover behind her dinner table as gunfire erupted outside the press gala in Washington, D.C.
Kimmel’s live audience, screaming with laughter, couldn’t have known what would unfold post-show. And maybe they forgot about the other near-tragedies for the Trumps. It’s been almost two years since President Donald Trump was shot in the ear in Butler, Pennsylvania. And maybe the headlines about the two armed conspirators hoping to shoot their shots near Mar-a-Lago and Trump International Golf Club are fading into the distance.
Kimmel pressed on, bagging that low-hanging fruit like he was working the checkout at Target, following up the dead husband joke with laughs about the “Melania” documentary’s Rotten Tomatoes score (a website he says was “named after her husband’s testicles”) and an Epstein tie-in.
Kimmel was practically throbbing with “witticisms.” Do not continue using if you experience symptoms of TDS such as sweaty palms, limited perspective, and blah late-night comedic instincts.
Calling him a coward, Melania Trump later posted to X, “Kimmel’s hateful and violent rhetoric is intended to divide our country. His monologue about my family isn’t comedy — his words are corrosive and [deepen] the political sickness within America.”
Melania turned 56 on Sunday, possibly still reeling from surviving what President Trump called “a rather traumatic experience for her.” While Melania exudes Slovenian-style strength, it seems everyone piles on the First Lady any chance they get. She has filled the most visible unelected White House role for years. Is this really still an itch that needs to be scratched?
My eyeballs first popped out of my head regarding Melania Trump Derangement Syndrome (MTDS) when first lady Jill Biden’s sensible pumps shuffled into the White House in 2021. Outlets such as The Cut lamented the so-called “fashion drought” of the first Trump administration (dismissing Melania’s Jackie Kennedy-besting style) and praising hum-drum inauguration day fits by Michelle Obama, Kamala Harris, and Dr. Jill (with a Ph.D. in serving a look, apparently) in her tweed dress, coat, and COVID-19 mask.
Never mind Melania’s actual career as a fashion model for GQ, Sports Illustrated, and Vanity Fair. That was before she entered 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and was snubbed by Vogue, which has been documenting first ladies since 1929. Curious about U.S. history according to Condé Nast? Here’s a crash course: Mrs. Lou Henry Hoover, Eleanor Roosevelt, Mamie Eisenhower — everyone in between — Hillary Clinton, Laura Bush, Michelle Obama, [BLANK], Jill Biden, [BLANK]. No offense, but not every FLOTUS is a looker. And some of them are obviously Republicans.
When Vanity Fair reportedly flirted with the idea of finally putting Melania on its cover in 2025, an editor for the magazine told the Daily Mail, “I will walk out the motherf***ing door, and half my staff will follow me. We are not going to normalize this despot and his wife; we’re just not going to do it. We’re going to stand for what’s right.”
Former first lady Michelle Obama, who graced the covers of 15 major fashion magazines during her husband’s presidency, later complained about not getting the same “grace” all the other first ladies got. Waah.
Even if you hate her husband with an orange-tinted passion, you can’t deny Melania’s elite status. Go ahead and make fun of her accent, but she speaks six languages (Slovenian, French, Serbian, German, Italian, and English). She married up, bore and raised a son (who actually seems pretty well adjusted for growing up in Trump Tower and the White House), stuck by her man, and graciously puts up with an onslaught of mainstream donkey doo no matter what she does.
Remember Melania’s first all-white Christmas at the White House, complete with a 350-pound gingerbread house, 53 bedazzled trees, and 31,000 holiday cookies? Yeah, the internet hated it! Memes flooded the internet, featuring Melania as a winter witch and describing the minimalist decor as a reflection of her cold, dead soul.
Her “Be Best” anti-bullying initiative, advocating for the mental health of kids suffering from online abuse, was bashed when she launched it in 2018. She battled headlines describing the platform as having “childlike strangeness” and calling her “disingenuous” for being married to a “bully” of a president and trying to help others.
“It is not news or surprising to me that critics and the media have chosen to ridicule me for speaking out on this issue, and that’s okay,” Melania said at the time. “I remain committed to tackling this topic because it will provide a better world for our children.”
Notably, according to the UN Human Rights Council, 66% of surveyed kids in 2026 said online bullying is only getting worse. Maybe it would be a different story had there been a few flattering headlines about the first lady’s idea. But whatever, exploited children. Trump sucks!
Just so we have all our historical ducks in a row, first ladies have been doing some pretty wild things since we started electing presidents. The original popularizer of “millennial pink,” Mamie Eisenhower, decorated with so much of it that the press started referring to the White House as the “Pink Palace.” Mary Todd Lincoln held literal séances (some with Abe!) in the White House to cope with her children’s deaths. And gaining fame as the “secret president,” Edith Wilson basically ran the country when Woodrow Wilson suffered a paralyzing stroke while in office, “seizing control” of presidential duties she was not elected to do.
And we’re supposed to believe Melania wearing a $39 Zara jacket that said “I really don’t care, do you?” was the worst?
Until Melania entered the scene, America largely gave every first lady a pass for rising to the occasion in a role they were compelled to agree to and crush. Read to kids, pretend to help choose the state dinner menu, and decorate for every holiday. You have “one” job; better nail it in pantyhose, lady.
Maybe you can blame the ire toward Melania on the clickable outrage of the media cycle. Someday soon, we’ll all be focused on a different POTUS and every last detail of his or her ever-loving spouse. But for now, wouldn’t it be nice if we could critique the main character and not the woman keeping the first family afloat? I’m inclined to agree with Melania, who stated on X, “Enough is enough.”
